AFL Green Lights Umpire Abuse For Country Round 2018

Sharp-tongued folks around the land are rejoicing today, with the AFL officially relaxing the rules relating to the protection of the umpires for the league’s annual country round.

“Respect for the umpires at all levels is paramount to the integrity of our great game, but once a year we like to pay homage to the rural people of Australia by absolutely letting the cunts have it,” said Gilllon McLachlan.

Footballers, coaches and spectators alike with pent up frustrations will finally have a chance to blow off some steam, with the entire AFL community given free reign to offer the game’s officials some “constructive criticism.”

“I’ll tell ya what, these fuckin’ white maggot dog cunts are in for fuckin’ treat at the MCG tomorrow,” said one Geelong supporter by the name of Craig. “They’ll be staying home in their pyjamas next to fire if they know what’s good for ‘em.”

More to come.