Bruce Prepares Godfather Offer For Nat Fyfe

Bruce always gets his man
Bruce always gets his man

Channel 7 commentator and unashamed Nat Fyfe admirer Bruce McAvaney is rumoured to be putting together a multibillion dollar mega-deal to lure the star midfielder away from Fremantle and into his Albert Park home.

“I don’t fuck around with third round draft picks,” said the 63-year-old. “I’m offering a ready-made replacement and enough cash to buy a small island in the South Pacific. Nat’s coming home with me.”

The Dockers were said to be completely unaware of McAvaney’s advances and quite surprised by the revelations, despite regular eye-witness reports of the commentator ignoring restraining orders and lurking outside Fyfe’s home throughout the season.