Free Agent Tom Lynch To Explore Options Before Fucking Over North At Last Minute

Tom Lynch has gone public with his intentions to move on at season’s end, last night informing the Gold Coast Suns of his desire to explore his options through the free agency process, feign interest in joining North Melbourne and then completely fuck them over by joining another club at the last minute.

“I have given eight years of proud service to this AFL club, if you could call it that, and it is the right of every restricted free agent to shop themselves around and, just for a little while, pretend they want to go to North Melbourne,” Lynch said when addressing this teammates after training. “I am excited for this next chapter.”

North Melbourne were quick to crack open the war chest after learning of the Lynch’s status, promptly tabling an offer for the star key forward believed to worth upward of $46,000 over five years.

Collingwood and Hawthorn are other parties interested in securing Lynch’s services, but North are confident they’re in the box seat given the magnitude of their offer.

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