Geelong Still Worried Ablett Might Try Bring An Inferior Brother Or Cousin With Him

Huge excitement surrounds the return of Gary Ablett to Geelong, but so too does an air of trepidation.

Members of the playing group are privately concerned that the dual Brownlow medallist might try and use his considerable clout around the club to have his brother Nathan also make his way onto the list. Or even worse, his cousin and Swans run-with specialist Luke.

“Nathan already took my spot in the 2007 Grand Final,” said Tom Hawkins, who played nine games that season but missed the big dance. “I’ll be fucked if he’s taking my spot in the 2018 Grand Final team as well.”

While the idea of luring the 33-year-old out of retirement to play for the Cats may seem far-fetched, it is believed Ablett has been casually slipping his forgotten brother’s name into list strategy discussions.

“You guys remember Nath yeah?” he asked coach Chris Scott as he and senior players discussed club’s diminishing key position stocks following the retirements of Andrew Mackie and Tom Lonergan.

“Shit is that the time?” responded Scott. “We better get this drill going, Gary do you mind grabbing those witches hats?”