Hawks Rebuild Strategy To Include Coaching Box Reinforcements

With tough times ahead following a 50-point drubbing at the hands of Port Adelaide last night, Hawthorn are turning their attention to a painful and lengthy rebuild which will include a big emphasis on the draft and making sure all coach’s boxes can withstand the rigors of an enraged Alastair Clarkson.

“We’re talking NASA-grade titanium plating in the walls and triple glazed Gorilla Glass,” said club president Richard Garvey.

“The last thing we want is for Ty Vickery to drop a chest mark in the square and Clarko to bring this whole thing down on us. We’ll be sparing no expense.”

More to come.