Heppell Finally Agrees To Captaincy After Month-Long Series Of “Yeah, Nahs”

Following a solid month of debilitating indecisiveness, Dyson Heppell has finally provided Essendon’s coaching staff with an answer on the captaincy, today committing to lead the club into 2017.

Sources confirm that the coaching team first approached the star onballer about the captaincy in early January and were initially met with some uncertainty.

“Yeah good on ya guys, yeah nah, yeah. Actually nah,” the 24-year-old responded, before continuing his constant verbal see-saw between the negative and affirmative for the following four weeks, including during his sleep.

Club insiders were unsure which way Heppell would go right up until he walked into the club this morning and let John Worsfold know the good news. “Of course I will mate, it’s a no-brainer, really.”