Kane Cornes Fractures Wrist In Freak Off-Season Wanking Incident

Star Sunday Footy Show panelist Kane Cornes is another big AFL name under a fitness cloud heading into the 2019 season, with reports indicating a poorly executed act of self-gratification has left the aspiring firefighter with a compound fracture of the schapoid in his right wrist.

The injury leaves the media heavyweight in doubt for a Round One appearance on Nine’s flagship football program, with producers concerned he’ll be physically incapable of wedging a white pen between his fingers and waving it around to drive home his point.

Cornes didn’t respond to a request for comment, but medical records obtained by Inside Sauce indicate the injury was caused by a “non-penetrating impact” to the back of his hand “almost certainly caused by repeated and frequent blunt impacts to the underside of a desk.”

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