Kyle Reimers Unveils His Top 50

Move over Malthouse, Sheehan and Robinson. After a long and torturous wait, one of football’s most influential names has peeled back the curtain on his list of the competition’s top 50 players.

Kyle Reimers needs no introduction. His acute understanding of the game and illustrious career as a dynamic Essendon sharpshooter speaks for itself (look no further than his eight-goal haul against an infant Gold Coast team in 2011 for evidence of that).

Today, we’ll be kicking things off with Reimo’s 45-50.

50. Rhys Mathieson
Age: 20
Games: 11
Reimo says: Reminds me a bit of myself at that age. Calls himself beast mode and with that kind of confidence and no track record he’ll be booting eight against an inexperienced expansion team and then tearing up the EDFL within a few short years.

49. Daniel Wells
Age: 52
Games: 256
Reimo says: Collingwood have made a huge investment getting Daniel Wells to the club, but that’s nothing compared to the money they’ll spend on cutting edge scientific research to get him on the park. Look for a bionically¬†engineered Daniel Wells to win Collingwood’s best and fairest in 2017.

48. Lindsay Thomas
Reimo says: I’ll be honest, my uncle is a mad Kangaroos supporter and asked me to put a North player in here somewhere. Lindsay Thomas is the only one I know off the top of my head.

47. Jack Fitzpatrick
Age: 25
Games: 25
Reimo says: Demoting this bloke to the rookie list will be the decision that ruins Alastair Clarkson’s legacy forever. Mark my words, Fitzy knows how to make a man¬†pay.

46. Anthony McDonald-Tipungwuti
Age: 23
Games: 21
Reimo says: The bloke’s a fucking sick cunt.

45. Travis Cloke
Age: 30
Behinds: 4,368
Reimo says: How the mighty fall. It’s hard to believe that Cloke was All Australian just four seasons ago. But then again my former club was completely destroyed in that time, so there ya go. I hear the Bulldogs will be using him in a different kind of role, one designed to avoid him ever having to shoot for goal. Expecting big things.


Reimo will be unveiling the remainder of his top 50 throughout the 2017 season in order to build suspense, and also so he can change it around if need be. Stay tuned to for more.