North Announce Record Profit As Signed Guernsey Goes For $45.50 At Auction

It may have been a torrid 2017 for the Kangaroos on the field but things couldn’t be going better off it, with the club recording a monster profit after a signed jersey yielded a monster sum at a local sportsman’s night.

“Stoked to take this baby home,” said neutral supporter and lucky recipient of the prized memorabilia, Luke Fratellino. “You’ve got all the big names on there, your Luke McDonalds and your umm, Daniel Swallows. Or is it Andrew? It’s Andrew isn’t it.”

The destitute suburban club was forced to auction off the guernsey after the declining hot dog sales at the canteen in Q3 sent revenue plummeting.

“Things were looking grim there for a while, but our members can rest assured we are now firmly back in the black,” said North Melbourne chairman Ben Buckley. “Just wait until we raffle off this leftover leg of Christmas ham.”