Sydney Auskick Kid Requests Trade To Melbourne Clinic Citing High Cost Of Living

The high cost of living in Australia’s most expensive city has prompted a bombshell move at the Newtown Swans Junior Football Club, with nine-year-old Jackson D’Angelo formally lodging paperwork with the administration requesting a trade to Melbourne’s Frankston region.

“A few years ago things were manageable,” D’Angelo told the media gathered outside the clinic on Thursday. “A pack of lollies used to cost two dollars, but these days I skip the lollies on the way home because I’m saving up to buy a new pair of boots in 2023. The economics just aren’t sustainable.”

Sources have suggested that D’Angelo’s mother was behind the dramatic trade request, and she confirmed as much when she spoke to the media today.

“I haven’t been able to share a cheap $60 box of white whine with the girls on a Friday night for months, ” she said. “In Frankston you can pick up a decent bottle at NQR for a fiver, so that’s exactly where we’re headed.”