Channel 7 have moved to swiftly end one of the most unwatchable segments on free to air television, taking the drastic measure of directing roaming reporter Brian Taylor straight onto a busy Hoddle Street during live broadcast in hope of sparking some sort of collision.
“The traffic moves very slowly there, so maybe just a little knock to one of his dodgy knees should bring this thing to a end,” said fellow commentator Cameron Ling, careful not to critically injure his colleague. “Either way, we can’t allow this to go on, we’re losing viewers to House Hunters International on Channel 9.”
Taylor was said to still be in good health at the time of publication, masterfully weaving his way through the oncoming traffic and nabbing unsuspecting drivers for awkward interviews while they were stopped at the traffic lights.
“That a stick-shift I see there my friend? Boy oh boy, a manual 2013 Ford Explorer, you wouldn’t bloody read about it,” he said.